it’s been one month.

It’s been one month since I started blogging again. Since I made that hard uncomfortable decision to walk away (mostly) from scrolling on social media and daily posting. I still miss it. I miss sharing my life as it happens, posting daily content and yes even the validation. I miss it all. But when I walked away, I realized something, something I’m almost embarrassed to admit.

My life, my story. Somewhere along the journey of social media, it became content. And I noticed I wasn’t alone.

It really does get addicting, I think especially for us mamas. We want to share our motherhood journey not just for the validation, but it makes us not feel so alone on our journey. It also makes it really easy for us romanticizers to romanticize our life through social media with the cute aesthetically pleasing filters and soft music to cover up the reality.

But I fell for the plot social media often puts on us. To post every day, to make every single thing right down to the coffee that we make in the morning content. Because if you don’t, you’ll get kicked out of the algorithm and lose your hard-earned engagement and let’s not even get started on the dopamine hit that comes with that great engagement post followed by discouragement that follows after the second post doesn’t do as well.

I came to a point when I realized life wasn’t being lived. content was being created.

And the truth is.

I’m not content,

My story isn’t content.

My family isn’t content.

And this life I’m rebuilding and living to the fullest to the best of my intentional capability, it’s not content.

I stopped wanting engagement with so many likes and comments that I don’t know what to do with. Because I realized it’s hard to be intentional with that. Not that I’m not thankful when it happens, but it’s no longer the goal.

If my words written with a warm cup of coffee besides me and The Father’s heart for you within me reaches only the mama who has been up all night with a sweet baby in need of soothing throughout the night and it encourages her to know that she’s not alone and what she’s doing is the most important work.

Man, this right here is why I write.

If my words only encourage the woman betrayed, left and forced to start over with only her children by her side and God’s love for her to know that her story isn’t over, but had just begun and God redeems beauty from ashes to greater than before.

That’s why I write.

And if my words encourage the exhausted mama, the depressed mama, the one who doesn’t know what the next step looks like or even if she’s capable of taking one. If the words I write encourage her to take the step anyway. To take one step at a time, day by day.

That’s my why, right there.

I stepped off of social media for the most part because it stole something from me that I wanted back. intentional stillness, real community, the freedom to write when I wanted, the style I wanted, however I wanted without wondering if an algorithm will catch it.

There is freedom to just having my own little space on this web. It’s personal, it’s mine and you are welcome here but here’s the important question, How do you like your coffee?

If you get anything from this space I hope it’s this. To slow down, drink your coffee while it’s warm, to write/journal when you don’t have time. Life isn’t meant to be rushed just like our lives weren’t meant to be content.

And remember. If things feel too big or too overwhelming today

One day at a time, mama.

xoxo- Heather